July 6th, 2026
by Marselo Lozano
by Marselo Lozano
The Difficult One
We've all encountered them—those people who seem to make everything harder than it needs to be. The coworker who complicates every project. The family member who turns simple decisions into hour-long debates. The friend who always finds something to argue about. But here's the uncomfortable question we rarely ask ourselves: What if we're the difficult one? Let's break down what "being difficult" actually means. According to Webster's Dictionary, "being" refers to a living thing, the state of existing, or the most important part of a person's mind or self. "Difficult" means not easy, requiring much work or skill, not easy to deal with or manage, not willing to help others by changing behavior—stubborn or unreasonable. Put them together, and being difficult becomes a state of mind, an entire existence centered on being hard to manage. It's a thought process where your whole purpose becomes not being easy, not willing to help others. That's a sobering reality check.
90/10
Here's a perspective shift that might change how you view your problems: Only 5% of your problems are completely outside your control—weather, technology, life systems, the timing of things. Another 5% are people—their actions, words, attitudes, opinions, and thoughts.
That's 10% total. - The other 90%? That's you. That's how you respond to the 10%.
We spend so much energy blaming the 10% for how we feel, for what's not working, for our frustrations. But the truth is, the vast majority of our experience comes down to our response. We want to blame others for our difficulties when we should be examining our reactions.
Peter's Problem
The disciple Peter provides a fascinating case study in being difficult without realizing it. After spending three years with Jesus—learning directly from the Son of God—Peter still struggled with this issue. In Matthew 16, Jesus began explaining that He would suffer, be killed, and rise again on the third day. Peter, thinking he was being helpful and protective, took Jesus aside and said, "Heaven forbid, Lord! This will never happen to you!" Jesus's response was shocking: "Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God's." Imagine that. Peter loved Jesus. He was trying to protect Him. He thought he was doing the right thing. Yet Jesus called him a stumbling block and addressed the demonic influence behind his words. This reveals something profound: We can be difficult even when we think we're being helpful.
The Sword and the Ear
Later, in the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter's difficulty manifested again. When soldiers came to arrest Jesus, Peter drew his sword and cut off the ear of the high priest's servant. Once again, Peter thought he was doing the right thing—defending his Lord. But Jesus rebuked him, healed the servant's ear, and essentially said, "This isn't the way." How often do we "cut people up" with our words, actions, attitudes, looks, opinions, and thoughts—all while thinking we're in the right? How often does someone else have to come behind us to heal the damage we've caused, reassuring the wounded, "Don't pay attention to them. They thought they were doing what was right"?
The Devil Can Use Anyone
This is the terrifying truth we must face: God can use anyone to accomplish His will, but so can the devil. And if we're not careful, if we're not abiding in Christ and His Word, we won't even know the difference. Peter didn't realize he was being used by the enemy. He was sincere, devoted, and passionate. But sincerity without spiritual discernment can lead us to become stumbling blocks rather than steppingstones. The key isn't just wanting to be "used by God." The goal is to know God. When you have a genuine relationship with Jesus, there's no "using"—there's only doing His will out of love and intimacy.
Living in Harmony
Romans 12:14-21 provides a roadmap for not being difficult: Bless those who persecute you. Be happy with those who are happy; weep with those who weep Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud. Don't think you know it all. Do all you can to live peacefully with everyone. Never take revenge. Overcome evil with good. Notice the theme? Don't be difficult. Romans 14 adds another layer: Don't cause others to stumble. If you're not acting in love, if your behavior distresses other believers, you're missing the point. The Kingdom of God is about goodness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit—not about being right at the expense of others.
Being Difficult?
So how do we stop being difficult? It starts with honest self-examination. This week, ask yourself three questions: 1. Am I being difficult? - Not "Is someone else being difficult?" but "Am I the difficult one?" This requires brutal honesty and humility. 2. If so, why am I being difficult? What's driving this behavior? Is it insecurity? Pride? Past wounds? Fear of losing control? Dig deeper than surface explanations. 3. What are my motives? This is crucial. Monitor your motives. What's really motivating your words and actions? Are you operating from love and truth, or from selfishness and ego? Sometimes we're difficult while trying not to be. We defer so much that we frustrate others. We refuse to make decisions because we're "being flexible." But that's still difficult—just a different flavor. Other times, we're difficult because we haven't set proper boundaries. It's okay to disagree. It's okay not to agree on everything—as long as it's not contrary to God's Word or leading someone away from truth.
Hope!
Here's the gospel truth in all of this: You don't have to be difficult. And you don't have to stay difficult. You can change. You can grow. You can become a person who builds others up instead of tearing them down, who makes life easier for others instead of harder, who blesses instead of wounds. Every person in your life will experience you as either a stumbling block or a steppingstone. You'll either help lift them toward their destiny, or you'll cause them to trip. The choice, for the most part, is yours. Don't be that guy—the one who cuts off ears and needs Jesus to come behind and heal the damage. Be the person who brings healing, peace, and life wherever you go.
We've all encountered them—those people who seem to make everything harder than it needs to be. The coworker who complicates every project. The family member who turns simple decisions into hour-long debates. The friend who always finds something to argue about. But here's the uncomfortable question we rarely ask ourselves: What if we're the difficult one? Let's break down what "being difficult" actually means. According to Webster's Dictionary, "being" refers to a living thing, the state of existing, or the most important part of a person's mind or self. "Difficult" means not easy, requiring much work or skill, not easy to deal with or manage, not willing to help others by changing behavior—stubborn or unreasonable. Put them together, and being difficult becomes a state of mind, an entire existence centered on being hard to manage. It's a thought process where your whole purpose becomes not being easy, not willing to help others. That's a sobering reality check.
90/10
Here's a perspective shift that might change how you view your problems: Only 5% of your problems are completely outside your control—weather, technology, life systems, the timing of things. Another 5% are people—their actions, words, attitudes, opinions, and thoughts.
That's 10% total. - The other 90%? That's you. That's how you respond to the 10%.
We spend so much energy blaming the 10% for how we feel, for what's not working, for our frustrations. But the truth is, the vast majority of our experience comes down to our response. We want to blame others for our difficulties when we should be examining our reactions.
Peter's Problem
The disciple Peter provides a fascinating case study in being difficult without realizing it. After spending three years with Jesus—learning directly from the Son of God—Peter still struggled with this issue. In Matthew 16, Jesus began explaining that He would suffer, be killed, and rise again on the third day. Peter, thinking he was being helpful and protective, took Jesus aside and said, "Heaven forbid, Lord! This will never happen to you!" Jesus's response was shocking: "Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God's." Imagine that. Peter loved Jesus. He was trying to protect Him. He thought he was doing the right thing. Yet Jesus called him a stumbling block and addressed the demonic influence behind his words. This reveals something profound: We can be difficult even when we think we're being helpful.
The Sword and the Ear
Later, in the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter's difficulty manifested again. When soldiers came to arrest Jesus, Peter drew his sword and cut off the ear of the high priest's servant. Once again, Peter thought he was doing the right thing—defending his Lord. But Jesus rebuked him, healed the servant's ear, and essentially said, "This isn't the way." How often do we "cut people up" with our words, actions, attitudes, looks, opinions, and thoughts—all while thinking we're in the right? How often does someone else have to come behind us to heal the damage we've caused, reassuring the wounded, "Don't pay attention to them. They thought they were doing what was right"?
The Devil Can Use Anyone
This is the terrifying truth we must face: God can use anyone to accomplish His will, but so can the devil. And if we're not careful, if we're not abiding in Christ and His Word, we won't even know the difference. Peter didn't realize he was being used by the enemy. He was sincere, devoted, and passionate. But sincerity without spiritual discernment can lead us to become stumbling blocks rather than steppingstones. The key isn't just wanting to be "used by God." The goal is to know God. When you have a genuine relationship with Jesus, there's no "using"—there's only doing His will out of love and intimacy.
Living in Harmony
Romans 12:14-21 provides a roadmap for not being difficult: Bless those who persecute you. Be happy with those who are happy; weep with those who weep Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud. Don't think you know it all. Do all you can to live peacefully with everyone. Never take revenge. Overcome evil with good. Notice the theme? Don't be difficult. Romans 14 adds another layer: Don't cause others to stumble. If you're not acting in love, if your behavior distresses other believers, you're missing the point. The Kingdom of God is about goodness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit—not about being right at the expense of others.
Being Difficult?
So how do we stop being difficult? It starts with honest self-examination. This week, ask yourself three questions: 1. Am I being difficult? - Not "Is someone else being difficult?" but "Am I the difficult one?" This requires brutal honesty and humility. 2. If so, why am I being difficult? What's driving this behavior? Is it insecurity? Pride? Past wounds? Fear of losing control? Dig deeper than surface explanations. 3. What are my motives? This is crucial. Monitor your motives. What's really motivating your words and actions? Are you operating from love and truth, or from selfishness and ego? Sometimes we're difficult while trying not to be. We defer so much that we frustrate others. We refuse to make decisions because we're "being flexible." But that's still difficult—just a different flavor. Other times, we're difficult because we haven't set proper boundaries. It's okay to disagree. It's okay not to agree on everything—as long as it's not contrary to God's Word or leading someone away from truth.
Hope!
Here's the gospel truth in all of this: You don't have to be difficult. And you don't have to stay difficult. You can change. You can grow. You can become a person who builds others up instead of tearing them down, who makes life easier for others instead of harder, who blesses instead of wounds. Every person in your life will experience you as either a stumbling block or a steppingstone. You'll either help lift them toward their destiny, or you'll cause them to trip. The choice, for the most part, is yours. Don't be that guy—the one who cuts off ears and needs Jesus to come behind and heal the damage. Be the person who brings healing, peace, and life wherever you go.
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